Soular

A new radar detector

that has recently been invented

can not only detect rainbows

as was its original intention

but also has the unexpected

yet astonishing power

of seeing people’s souls.

While meteorologists

and weather enthusiasts

are all aglow about this new

innovation,

blithely code named “Soular”,

civic and church

authorities are looking

leerily at this new invention.

Church Officials,

are distressed about meteorologists

meddling in matters

previously the domain

of people of the cloth,

not to mention it being

somewhat unethical to have

lay people voyeuristically

gawking into a person’s

soul.

The Surgeon General

has now also become involved

and recommended against

Government approval.

Her rationale:  

The soul has never before

been considered

a bodily part

and is therefore beyond

their scope of investigation.

In addition,

The Civil Liberties Union

has intervened

and has asked for a court injunction

to put a stop

to the test trials of this new mechanism.

Under the Fourth Amendment

of the constitution

this is considered

an invasion of personal privacy.

The constitution holds it

illegal to search

a person’s house,

and the body being a “temple”

makes it illegal

to peer into a person’s

most vital essence.