[American Journal]

here among them     the americans     this baffling 

multi people     extremes and variegations     their 

noise     restlessness     their almost frightening 

energy     how best describe these aliens in my 

reports to The Counselors

disguise myself in order to study them unobserved 

adapting their varied pigmentations     white black 

red brown yellow     the imprecise and strangering 

distinctions by which they live     by which they 

justify their cruelties to one another

charming savages     enlightened primitives     brash 

new comers lately sprung up in our galaxy     how 

describe them     do they indeed know what or who 

they are     do not seem to     yet no other beings 

in the universe make more extravagant claims

for their importance and identity

like us they have created a veritable populace 

of machines that serve and soothe and pamper 

and entertain     we have seen their flags and 

foot prints on the moon     also the intricate

rubbish left behind     a wastefully ingenious

people     many it appears worship the Unknowable 

Essence     the same for them as for us     but are 

more faithful to their machine made gods

technologists their shamans

oceans deserts mountains grain fields canyons 

forests     variousness of landscapes weathers 

sun light moon light as at home     much here is 

beautiful     dream like vistas reminding me of  

home     item     have seen the rock place known 

as garden of the gods and sacred to the first 

indigenes     red monoliths of home     despite 

the tensions i breathe in i am attracted to 

the vigorous americans     disturbing sensuous  

appeal of so many     never to be admitted 

something they call the american dream     sure 

we still believe in it i guess     an earth man 

in the tavern said     irregardless of the some 

times night mare facts we always try to double 

talk our way around     and its okay the dreams 

okay and means whats good could be a damn sight 

better     means every body in the good old u s a 

should have the chance to get ahead or at least 

should have three squares a day     as for myself 

i do okay     not crying hunger with a loaf of 

bread tucked under my arm you understand     i

fear one does not clearly follow i replied 

notice you got a funny accent pal     like where 

you from he asked     far from here i mumbled

he stared hard     i left 

must be more careful     item     learn to use okay

their pass word     okay 

crowds gathering in the streets today for some 

reason obscure to me     noise and violent motion

repulsive physical contact     sentinels     pigs 

i heard them called     with flailing clubs     rage 

and bleeding and frenzy and screaming     machines 

wailing     unbearable decibels     i fled lest 

vibrations of the brutal scene do further harm 

to my metabolism already over taxed 

The Counselors would never permit such barbarous 

confusion     they know what is best for our sereni 

 ty     we are an ancient race and have outgrown

illusions cherished here     item     their vaunted 

liberty     no body pushes me around i have heard 

them say     land of the free they sing     what do

they fear mistrust betray more than the freedom 

they boast of in their ignorant pride     have seen 

the squalid ghettoes in their violent cities 

paradox on paradox     how have the americans 

managed to survive 

parades fireworks displays video spectacles 

much grandiloquence much buying and selling 

they are celebrating their history     earth men 

in antique uniforms play at the carnage whereby

the americans achieved identity     we too recall

that struggle as enterprise of suffering and

faith uniquely theirs     blonde miss teen age

america waving from a red white and blue flower

float as the goddess of liberty     a divided

people seeking reassurance from a past few under

stand and many scorn     why should we sanction

old hypocrisies     thus dissenters     The Counse

lors would silence them

a decadent people The Counselors believe     i

do not find them decadent     a refutation not

permitted me    but for all their knowledge

power and inventiveness not yet more than raw

crude neophytes like earthlings everywhere 

though i have easily passed for an american     in 

bankers grey afro and dashiki long hair and jeans

hard hat yarmulke mini skirt     describe in some 

detail for the amusement of The Counselors     and 

though my skill in mimicry is impeccable     as 

indeed The Counselors are aware     some thing 

eludes me     some constant amid the variables

defies analysis and imitation     will i be judged 

incompetent 

america     as much a problem in metaphysics as 

it is a nation earthly entity an iota in our 

galaxy     an organism that changes even as i 

examine it     fact and fantasy never twice the 

same     so many variables 

exert greater caution     twice have aroused 

suspicion     returned to the ship until rumors 

of humanoids from outer space     so their scoff 

ing media voices termed us     had been laughed 

away     my crew and i laughed too of course

confess i am curiously drawn     unmentionable     to

the americans     doubt i could exist among them for 

long however     psychic demands far too severe 

much violence     much that repels     i am attracted 

none the less     their variousness their ingenuity 

their elan vital     and that some thing     essence 

quiddity     i cannot penetrate or name