One Without the Other

“I have something important I would like to read to you,” Ava told her parents. They were sitting side by side on the couch as she stood in front of them. They looked at each other a little cautiously, but smiled. Ava took that as a good sign.

“In school,” she told them, “we’ve been working on persuasive essays. My teacher said that in order to persuade people you have to have reasons and evidence. You can’t just say the same thing over and over again.”

“Well that’s certainly true,” her father said.

But Ava wasn’t done yet.

“My essay is called “Why I Am Responsible and Ready for a Cell Phone by Ava Rosen,” she continued, smiling as she read.

It had been a problem for months. All three of her best friends received cell phones for Christmas. It seemed like half the 5th grade class returned from Christmas break with cell phones. Ava's parents would just shake their heads whenever she asked them. A cell phone wasn’t all fun and games, they would say. It was too big a responsibility for her right now.

Ava felt that her best friends, Savannah, Mariah, and Abby, were having nothing but fun with their cell phones. All they ever wanted to talk about now was who put what in the group chat. They didn’t spend any time at all talking about what a big responsibility their cell phones were.

But no matter which parent Ava asked, no matter when she asked, no matter how many times she asked, the answer was always the same. She couldn’t get a cell phone until her Bat Mitzvah. Her Bat Mitzvah! That wouldn’t happen until she was 13 years old! Who knew all of the things she would miss in group chats over the next three years?

Parents were impossible sometimes.

For weeks it seemed like there was nothing she could do. Her parents just wouldn’t budge. But then, a week ago, they had started working on writing persuasive essays at school. It was like lightning had gone off in Ava’s brain. She had to persuade them! That was the answer! And it had come from school, of all places.

She’d worked on her persuasive essay for a week, coming up with all the reasons why she should have a cell phone. Parents are able to stay constantly in touch with their children. Having a cell phone actually teaches responsibility. She even looked up some facts to help as supporting evidence. Forty percent of children in her age group have been introduced to some form of smart device. Fifty-three percent of parents in the country think it's acceptable for a child to own a cell phone at her age. She was confident that this essay was the best thing that she had ever written. There was no way her parents wouldn’t be persuaded.

~*~

“So…what do you think?” she asked after a minute of silence. Her parents looked at each other. Neither one of them said a word.

“Well, Ava, that was certainly very persuasive,” her Dad said. Her Mom nodded. “We wanted you to show that you were responsible enough for a cell phone. Putting this much work into convincing us certainly suggests that this isn’t a whim. We’ll talk it over and then let you know.”

Ava wanted to scream and jump up and down. But she was trying to show her parents that she was mature enough for a cell phone. So, instead, she just smiled, nodded, and waited.

Waiting was torture. Her parents talked it over for a week. Meanwhile, her friends had begun playing a new game on their phones. Ava’s mom would pick her up from school, and every afternoon Ava felt like she wanted to tear the car door open and beg her mom to tell her what they had decided. But, instead, she waited. And waited. And waited.

After a full week had gone by, her parents sat her down in the living room. This time, she was on the couch and they were both standing in front of her. She was so excited that she almost couldn’t stand it, but she forced herself to sit quietly. Just like before, her parents looked at each other.

“Alright Ava,” her mom said. “We both wanted to wait until you were older to get you a cell phone. But, we were impressed by how much work you put into that essay and how mature you behaved while we talked it over. So, we’ve decided that you can have a cell phone. Your father needs to get a new phone for work and we’re going to give you his old phone.”

“Really?!” Ava yelled out. She jumped up and squealed. Her dad reached into his pocket and pulled out his old phone. It had already been wiped clean, so he handed it right to her. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she screamed. She took the phone from his hand and gave each of her parents a gigantic hug.

“But, Ava, we want you to understand, a cell phone is not all just fun and games,” her Dad said. “This is a big responsibility — ” he started to list all of the ways that she had to be responsible with her phone, but Ava wasn’t listening anymore. She was too busy trying to decide what her new background should be and downloading all of the most important apps. Her plan had worked! She had a cell phone!

~*~

She couldn’t wait to show her friends. Right away, she pulled out her school notebook and turned to the back where she had written their new numbers. She called Savannah first, who squealed over the phone for almost as long as she had. After she was done, Savannah wanted to immediately hang up so that she could add Ava to the group chat. Happily, Ava agreed.

Her phone dinged. Savannah had added her. They changed the name of the group chat from “Besties” to “SAMA” now that they could use all of their initials in the name. Ava spent a good hour that first night texting with her friends. Deciding what emojis she should use for their contacts took a lot of discussion.

And it got better from there. It was the little things, like being able to text them at school the next day, at the top of lunch, just to let them know she was running behind. Or to play text message trivia games back and forth throughout the day. Savannah’s mom was taking the four of them to see a movie over the weekend. Normally, Ava didn’t like scary movies and wasn’t sure she wanted to go. But now that she had a phone, things felt different. Savannah, Abby, and Mariah kept putting memes in their group chat about how good the movie was going to be. All of the jokes made it sound like it was going to be a lot of fun.

~*~

When Savannah’s mom’s car pulled up Saturday evening, Ava could barely contain her excitement. Her parents kept looking at her, looking at each other, and smiling. She dove into the back seat, proudly holding up her phone. All four girls squealed as loud as they could. Savannah’s mom pinched the bridge of her nose.

They talked and exchanged group chat messages the entire way to the movie theater. Mariah told them all about how the twins in her art class had messed with a substitute teacher by pretending to be each other. And in the group chat she dropped a picture of Squidward’s head exploding, with the words “^^substitute teacher” below it. Ava nearly died of laughter. Savannah’s mom pinched the bridge of her nose again. They might have suffered a lecture from her about how hard it was to be a substitute, and how they shouldn’t encourage the other kids. But this was the beauty of being able to silently exchange messages between them. Silence, until whenever they erupted with laughter that is.

“Alright girls,” Savannah’s mom said once she had gotten them all in their seats. “Turn your phones on silent and keep them in your pocket while the movie is playing. Otherwise it’s rude to everyone else in the theater.” All four girls nodded and did as told. Ava had to ask for Savannah’s help. As she watched the previews, she kept thinking of thoughts, jokes, comments — things she wanted to share in the group chat about what she saw. She even reached for her phone at one point before remembering she was supposed to keep it stowed.

They settled in once the movie began. It was about a girl whose family moved into a new house. Only it turned out that the house was haunted. As the movie continued, Ava could feel herself tensing up. She dug the nails from one hand into her arm. She told herself that it was just a movie, but that didn’t help. The creepy music, the dark lights, and the whispers were all getting to her. She bit her lip. In all of her excitement about her phone, she had forgotten how much she hated scary movies.

She could feel her heart racing. She couldn’t take it. She turned to Savannah. “I have to go to the bathroom,” she whispered.

Ava jumped up. She shuffled past her friends and out into the lobby. She shook her head. This was so babyish of her. She was supposed to be past this by now! She had a cell phone! She was practically an adult. Now that she was in the lobby, she figured that she may as well head to the bathroom. Inside, she took some mirror selfies before splashing some water on her cheeks. Then she made faces at herself in the mirror for a few minutes before deciding that it had probably been long enough.

When she got back to her seat, the movie seemed like it was wrapping up.

“You missed the best part!” Abby hissed. “It was so cool!” Ava shrugged and turned to watch what was left of the movie.

~*~

As they walked among the crowd leaving the theater, Savannah, Abby and Mariah talked over one another as they discussed the movie’s ending. But it wasn’t until they were standing out front, waiting for Savannah’s mom to bring the car around that Ava realized something was seriously wrong.

She put her hand in her pocket to pull out her cell phone. It wasn’t there.

Ava froze. Her heart was pounding. However scared she had felt before, it was nothing to how she felt now.

“I can’t find my phone!” she shrieked. She started patting down all of her pockets. Had it fallen out and slipped between the theater seats? Immediately, all of her friends chimed in, yelling out their own suggestions. Maybe it was in the car. Maybe it had been left at the concessions stand. Ava was too frantic to listen.

And then suddenly, she knew. She looked at her friends, wide eyed.

“The bathroom sink,” she whispered quietly. “I left it on the bathroom sink.”

“WHAT?” Mariah yelled out. “Why did you drop it on the bathroom sink?!”

“I don’t know, I was splashing water on my face — ”

“Go, go go!” Savannah said quickly. “Go see if it’s still there before my mom comes back!”

Ava took her advice and took off running. She burst into the bathroom and checked every sink. The phone was gone.

Savannah’s mom and the girls were waiting in the car when Ava stepped out of the theater. “Are you okay?” Savannah’s mom said. Savannah sat in the front passenger seat. Her mother leaned over her to talk through the open window. “Savannah said you had to use the bathroom again?” Savannah looked at Ava. Abby and Mariah were also glaring from the back seats. “It’s okay,” Savannah’s mom said, “to be honest…I mean, if the movie scared you.”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Just a little.” She didn’t want her to get in even more trouble.

“Are you going to tell your parents?” Mariah whispered to Ava as they made their way back to the neighborhood. Ava clenched her teeth. She didn’t want to think about it.

“Ava, I’ll drop you off first,” Savannah’s mom said and looked at her through the rear view mirror. “Text your mom to let her know we’ll be pulling up in about ten minutes.”

“Sure thing!” Ava said brightly. She even looked down at her empty lap and made out as if she was typing. She hoped Savannah’s mom couldn’t see. She could feel how much her palms were sweating. “Mom says thanks,” she said, and hoped she sounded normal. To each side of her, Abby and Mariah smiled sympathetically, then turned back to looking at their phones. No more group text for private conversations. Ava hugged herself and tried not to cry. She was going to be in so much trouble.

“Is your mother not coming out to meet us?” Savannah’s mother asked once she pulled up outside Ava’s home.

“Nah, she texted me,” Ava replied, as she shuffled over Mariah and opened the door. “She’s busy with something. Thank you, Mrs. Melk.” Ava then quickly jumped out of the car and rushed down her walkway. Mariah had to close the door behind her. Ava did not look back.

She kicked off her shoes in the entryway and glanced into the empty kitchen as she walked down the hallway. Her parents were at the table in the dining room, playing a round of cards. Ava stood in the doorway. When they looked up and smiled at her, she immediately burst into tears.

“Ava, honey, what’s wrong?” her dad said, standing up. Her mom rushed over and wrapped her in a hug. They both looked concerned.

“I… I… I lost my phone!” Ava blurted out. Tears streamed down her face. “I went to the bathroom and I put it on the sink and when I came back, it was just gone!” she sobbed.

Her parents looked at each other. It was silent for a moment. And then both of them seemed to sigh at once.

“It’s okay sweetie,” her mom said. “Sometimes these things happen.”

“Really?” Ava looked up at her. She didn’t understand why they weren’t furious. Her dad gave her a one-armed hug.

“Do we wish you had been able to keep track of your phone for more than four days? Of course. But, things happen. Everyone makes mistakes and loses things from time to time. We’ll call the cell phone company. We’ll sort it out.”

Her mom smiled. “I’m sure you must’ve given Savannah’s mom a fright in this mood. Were you able to talk to someone at the theater?” she asked.

Ava breathed in. “I didn’t — I didn’t tell Savannah’s mom.”

“What? Why?”

“I don’t know, I just thought —”

Her mom pulled back from Ava, her voice suddenly rose. “You didn’t tell Mrs. Melk? She could have talked to the manager! Maybe someone turned it in!”

“Ava, really!” her dad said. He wasn’t yelling, but she could tell by his tone that he was very angry. “What on earth were you thinking? You could have gotten help!”

“I didn’t want to get in any more trouble,” Ava said in a small voice. Both of her parents looked at her in disbelief. She opened her mouth to defend herself. To explain how much Savannah’s mom liked to lecture them. Or how hard she had looked for the phone. Or how slipping up and forgetting just one time did not mean that she wasn’t mature enough to have a cell phone!

But she stopped herself.

Maybe… maybe her parents were right. She hadn’t thought about anything after the phone was gone except not getting in trouble. She thought about all of the adults she knew. They fixed problems for her. They didn’t avoid them.

She never considered approaching the people who worked at the theater. Maybe someone had turned her cell phone in. It hadn’t occurred to her to ask.

It was true that she had only slipped up one time. But that one time happened only four days after she had gotten her cell phone. Having the phone was a lot of fun, but keeping track of it was also a lot of work. You couldn’t have one without the other.

She thought that maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t ready for a phone just yet.

In the end, her parents drove her back to the theater. It turned out that the phone had been at the front desk the entire time. Someone must have found it in the bathroom right after Ava left. Her parents wouldn’t let her have it. She sulked in the car on the way home, but quietly she understood.

Ava missed being part of the group chat. She missed all the jokes and the private conversations. But, over time, she would come to learn that there were some parts of having a cell phone that she didn’t miss. Later on in the year, Savannah will be grounded for two whole months after being repeatedly caught texting in class. Abby will drop her phone in the pool during spring break and spend her birthday sleepover staring tearfully at the bowl of rice her phone will sit in. It will never recover. And Mariah, at some point before the summer break, with no one from the “SAMA” group to talk to, will grow bored of even using her phone.

No, Ava would never admit it to her parents, but there were some things that came with having a cell phone that she didn’t and wouldn’t miss at all.